How about this for a 5 star review?
“I recently completed RAGBRAI 2017. I admit I did something stupid. I changed saddles about a week and a half before the trip. After Day 1 of 65 miles I should of changed out my saddle (I had brought an extra)…my bottom was beat up. Stupidly I did Day 2 of 76 more miles…missed a century because my bottom wouldn’t let me. I had started developing sores by the end of that day and was worried I might not be able to finish out the next five days of riding. Once you get sores with aggressive riding, there’s not much chance to heal. I did change out my saddle heading into day 3, but my butt was sore. I remembered I had packed Happy Bottom Bum Butter. Someone had told me to use the stuff…which to date I hadn’t…it was a fresh container. I buttered up the next five days. Sores were gone within two days. I ended up doing another 285 miles. Thanks Bum Butter for a completed RAGBRAI!”